A work friend of mine, Melanie, recently lost her baby. Her baby only lived 14 hrs. She has just started going back to work, but she is still not fully recovered. She says that she hates going home now because she still expects to come home to her baby, but there is nothing there. She is angry at the world and even lost some faith in God. The worst part is there is nothing anyone can do or say to help her.
I miscarried my first baby last February, yes, Melanie and I were pregnant at the same time, she was about 3 months ahead of me. Anyway, I had a lot of the same feelings that Melanie is having now, so I know people can say some pretty stupid things. Things like, "Well, it’s probably better this way", or "You’re still young, you can try again" – these things are not comforting, they don’t change the fact that your child is gone. Don’t get me wrong, a miscarriage hurts, but carrying a baby all the way then losing it has got to be far more painful. I’m just saying the emotions are the same but to different degrees.
Anyway, we are thinking of trying again this fall, but seeing Melanie like this makes me feel guilty. My husband says that it’s not our fault she lost the baby so I shouldn’t feel like that, but I can’t help it. I feel as though it would be like rubbing salt in her wound.
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